Moving a Family: How to Break the News to Kids

You’ve decided to move. Now, you have to break the news to your children, knowing they may not accept the idea. So, how should you handle the situation?

Children thrive on routine and familiarity. Moving can turn their world upside down—new school, new friends, a new life to adjust to.

By approaching the conversation thoughtfully, you’ll ease the transition and teach them valuable coping skills they’ll carry into adulthood.

When Should You Break the News?

Telling them too early could lead to anxiety while announcing it last minute will leave kids unprepared.

The sweet spot depends on their age:

• Preschoolers (2–5 years): 2–4 weeks in advance. Their sense of time is still developing, so long lead times can confuse them.
• School-aged kids (6–12 years): 4–6 weeks in advance. This gives them ample time to ask questions and say goodbye to friends.
• Teenagers (13+ years): 1–2 months in advance. They may need more time to process the change or discuss their thoughts.

Once the decision to move is final, don’t delay. Choose a quiet, calm environment, like a family dinner, to avoid distractions.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Moving

Follow these steps to make the conversation as smooth — and stress-free — as possible:

1. Start with Honesty

Be honest, but keep it simple. Kids don’t need every detail, but they do need to feel like you’re open and transparent.

Example opening line: “We have some big news to share. We’re moving to a new home, and we’re so excited to tell you why!”

2. Explain the Reason

Help kids understand why they are moving, whether it’s for a new job, a better school, or to be closer to family. This will give the relocation context and purpose.

An example explanation for younger kids is: “Mommy got a new job, and our new house will be closer to her work, so she’ll have more time to spend with us.”

3. Keep the Tone Positive

Kids take emotional cues from their parents. Displaying excitement about the new home will help them feel less scared or reluctant.

If they see the move as an exciting adventure rather than a disruption, they’ll be more likely to approach it positively.

4. Address Their Feelings

Give your kids the space to share their emotions and validate their feelings. Some kids might worry about making new friends or leaving their old ones behind.

For example, say, “It’s okay to be sad or nervous about the move. We’re here to talk about anything you’re feeling.”

5. Focus on the Benefits

Highlight the exciting opportunities the move might bring:

• A bigger backyard to play in.
• A new school with lots of fun activities.
• The chance to explore a different city or neighborhood.

You can even use visuals! Show them pictures of the new house, neighborhood, or parks nearby.

6. Encourage Questions

Kids are naturally curious, and giving them the opportunity to ask questions will help them feel more involved and reduce their fear of the unknown.

Address questions like:

• “Will I still see my friends?”
• “What does my new room look like?”
• “How will I get to school?”

Answer honestly while reassuring them about their concerns.

Tips to Make the Transition Easier

Breaking the news is just the first step. Follow these tips to help kids cope with the change throughout the moving process:

1. Get Them Involved

Give your kids age-appropriate roles in the move, like helping pack toys or choosing new bedroom paint colors. When they actively participate, they’ll feel more in control.

2. Visit the New Home (If Possible)

If circumstances allow, take your kids to visit the new house and neighborhood before the move. Show them their future bedroom, the local park, or even the closest ice cream shop.

3. Keep Their Routine

Maintain as much of their usual routine as possible, such as keeping bedtime or serving their favorite snacks. This adds stability during a time of change.

4. Plan Goodbyes

For older children especially, saying goodbye to friends and familiar places is a vital closure step. Host a farewell party, exchange contact information with friends, or create a scrapbook of memories.

5. Celebrate the New Adventure

On moving day, celebrate as a family! Bake cookies in your new kitchen, explore the local cafés or have a picnic in the park. This can help establish positive associations with the new home.

FAQs: Moving a Family

Q: How do I handle a child who refuses to move?

It’s normal for some children to resist. Reassure them by addressing their concerns and involving them as much as possible in the moving process. Sometimes, just giving them time can ease their reluctance.

Q: What if my child cries a lot about the move?

Crying is a natural emotional release. Offer them plenty of hugs and words of reassurance. Validate their feelings by saying, “It’s okay to feel sad.”

Q: Should I reward my child for moving?

Avoid bribery, but small rewards like decorating their new room or planning an exciting trip can help them feel more excited about the move.

Q: How do I help my teenager adjust to a new school?

Encourage them to join clubs or activities that match their interests. Give them time to adjust without pressuring them to make friends immediately.

Q: How do I manage my child’s friendships after moving?

Facilitate communication with old friends through video calls or letters. Plan reunions when possible to maintain those relationships.

Q: Is it okay to keep some details of the move private?

Yes. Share information according to what’s age-appropriate. Focus on details directly affecting your kids, like their new school or daily routine.

Q: How do I deal with my own moving stress while comforting my child?

Practice self-care, connect with supportive friends, and remember that modeling resilience helps your kids feel secure.

Q: Should my children be part of the decision to move?

For younger kids, it’s usually better to present it as a family decision that’s already been made. Older children, however, can benefit from being included in earlier discussions to feel their input is valued.